Tuesdays with Rory // Episode V

At eight months, Rory is learning new tricks at warp speed. She is sitting, babbling, trying new foods, rocking, waving, and anyday now, we anticipate her rapid roll will transition to a quick crawl.

With all these new skills and change, I can’t help but think about what skills and experiences Rory may have in the future as she grows up. 

I’m currently taking a class on the Internet of Things (IoT) through edx.org with Curtin University. The first module provides case studies of IoT at work — one of them being autonomous vehicles. And perhaps, in my own future blindness, I was shocked by the stat that some say by 2040 more than 75% of cars on the road will be autonomous. 

Just think how different the milestone of turning 16 years old will be in the year 2034. As less emphasis is placed on the driver, will there be the same level of importance with this manmade milestone of 16 years of age? Perhaps, being able to drive a car (this is clearly a rural, suburban, urban sprawl, never-lived in a big city girl talking) will not be a clear marker of growing up.

Am I starting to sound like an old person, complaining about how kids these days aren’t learning cursive? The lost art of handwriting is now the lost art of driving down a country road, stopping at the stop sign, and reminding oneself to inch out past the corn for greater clearance before taking the turn. 

Anyways, my key takeaways here are: (1) we absolutely cannot count the skills we have learned as sacred, (2) there is so much for our future generations (and us) to learn, and (3) cherish the moments that we have, for they may be just a glimmer in time.

Tuesdays with Rory // Episode IV

My pregnancy was pretty low key. So much so that we didn’t have our first doctor’s appointment until week 13. I participated in two wedding parties, visited 11 states, and traveled by plane on New Year’s Eve. Easy peasy.

And with that, we settled back into our apartment with a month to spare before my due date – just the right amount of time (in my mind) to efficiently nest and prepare for Baby Aurora’s arrival.

Looking to maximize my time in the office as much as possible, CC reluctantly picked me up from work to usher me into my 34-week check-up. We were ready to run in and out.

That didn’t happen. Instead we were sent next door to the hospital where I was to be on bedrest with monitoring until Miss Rory’s arrival. 

I wasn’t ready! In my mind – Rory needed to seriously slow her roll. We didn’t have her nursery setup. I still had projects at work that needed to be closed out. And with how big babies are born these days, we didn’t exactly have newborn (or smaller) clothes at the ready.

Yet, here we were. I was hooked up to an IV and contained in a hospital room. I couldn’t do this by myself. In my weakness, I was going to need to rely on my best friend – to prepare our home for Rory, to select my clothes, to order and deliver food other than red gelatin from outside the hospital walls. And it was hard. So much pride was built up. I didn’t know how to ask for help.

Then the surrender came. And for the first time I was met with a heavy helping of humble pie.

I’m so thankful it did. A week later and Rory would be born via C-section, requiring a whole greater level of recovery time and support from family and friends. And as I learned to ask for help, I found that it wasn’t so hard to find. 

People showed up to be a part of our journey. And I’m now learning this help goes beyond the birth and initial care of my child. Learning to ask for help as we navigate life is essential. Whether it’s about a new challenge at work, a potential job opportunity, figuring out how to be a trendy mom, dealing with our insecurities, or figuring out how to communicate with a sibling or spouse, seeking support from friends or mentors that align with our own values enables us to overcome major crux points along the way.

So, this lesson is short and sweet for me. Don’t do life alone. They say raising a child takes a village. I believe this to be true. I also believe this to be true for adults too. So eat your own helping of humble pie and don’t be so worried about asking a question, seeking advice, or raising your hand when you need some help.    

Tuesdays with Rory // Episode III

During my college years, like Hermione Granger with her time-turner, I would pride myself on the self-perception that I could juggle projects, organizations, jobs and coursework all at once. Highlighted in the top left skills section of my resume would be the words, “keen ability to multi-task.” 

Then too many years later and 10-weeks away from the office, Miss Rory provided a heavy dose of “Let’s get real, mom.” AND she hasn’t even learned to talk yet!

I believed maternity leave would equate to many books on innovation read, a refresher brand management course completed on edx.org, and time to get into tiptop shape, all the while, taking care of a perfectly unneedy newborn.

I laugh at delusional myself.

Maternity leave was hard. Harder than hard. A chapter of an innovation book was read. I nearly got my password correct to sign-in to edx.org. My body took on a different shape… more like plip plop. And through many tearful, phone calls with my coach (aka my mom) via speaker phone, I learned to let go of my multi-tasking mask and give my undivided attention to my beautiful daughter. Rory wanted all of me. And when I gave her that, I became a better mom and a better all-around Jackie.

Shooting off emails during a cross functional meeting. Thinking about the next project when a direct report is asking a question. Vertically scrolling through Instagram while listening to a conference call while also going through the drive-thru at Chick-fil-a. Having a side conversation when the agency (or client) is on mute. Guilty. Guilty of doing it all horribly well. 

It’s funny. Us humans. We think ourselves master multi-taskers. Yet 1 in 4 car crashes are caused by cellphone use and driving. And, to be honest, I have been on one too many phone calls that “hung up” while un-muting.

Devoting our attention and intention to one thing at a time is key. When we do so, I believe we are more potent and efficient. And as we practice said things, we get swifter at shifting gears from one event to next. There’s even a great NPR podcast about it.

Rather than say we’re good at multi-tasking, perhaps we should take a step back, reframe and be intentional with our time. Let’s let go of the multi-tasker myth, and give our best to each person, moment and transition.

Tuesdays With Rory // Episode II

Last Tuesday, I kicked off week one of a mini thought starter series inspired by my daughter called Tuesdays with Rory. Welcome to week numero dos.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? This question now makes me laugh when I think about the first two months with Rory. Every moment with our baby girl was foreign – from diaper changing to feeding to learning how to hold her with confidence while supporting her neck – it was all new to me. 

And in the midst of the rise and fall of hormones, the newness was all-consuming. As I was healing from surgery in the hospital, I remember my husband and I literally staring at her and back to each other in fear – wondering how in the world our hospital heroes were going to let crazy first timers like us walk out of there with such a tiny human.

Hence, now in month four, I can look back and laugh at the struggle. 

As we mature in our careers, we can make the mistake of wanting to stick to what we know and focus all efforts on refinement versus opening ourselves to new territory. During my agency days, even asking corporate leaders to draw a picture of the person next to them made most feel queasy and uncomfortable. And while refinement and proliferation of our strengths are important, I believe today’s marketplace is asking more of us – to explore and try something new. To employ a lifelong curiosity. It doesn’t have to be at the level of bringing a baby into this world, but it could look like learning about blockchain, listening to a podcast about storytelling, speaking for the first time at a conference, or testing out a new feature on Instagram. Perhaps it’s outside the cubicle walls – joining a recreational volleyball team, attempting to create Bob Ross happy trees, or diving into a new dish with the help of a meal delivery kit. 

Attempting something new isn’t always fun in the beginning, but it has plentiful benefits. Some studies even show a positive correlation between learning and happiness. For me, it provokes new ways of thinking and creativity. It gives me time to clear my head but also get a little bit more comfortable with the idea of imperfection.

So, my challenge to anyone that reads this would be this: Push yourself to have a somewhat recent answer to the question, “When was the last time you did something for the first time?”

Tuesdays with Rory // Episode I

Once we brought Rory home, we quickly realized we would need to establish a routine to overcome the exhaustion and what seemed like never ending needs of a newborn. Instilling a sleep-eat-wake rotation every three hours was pertinent to establishing a sense of sanity in the chaos of new life. For naptime, we would swaddle her up tight, sing her a soft song, and she would go right to sleep.

Then one day the swaddle and soft song didn’t work quite the same. 

Did we need to work on our swaddle technique? Maybe. Did she notice I was singing off key? Always.

Perfecting our swaddle-sing process was not the issue. Our swaddle blankets were no match for Rory’s growing body, desire for free roaming hands and sweet cries. You see, when we were getting used to the process, Rory had already changed. She was on to something else.

How often do we get caught in the same situation? We are so determined to six sigma the crap out of everything. We want to flawlessly follow a new product development cycle, perfect our projections formula, or mass produce our social media content all while the world around us – our competitors, our customers, our promotional channels make moves. Process is really important. Like a newborn, business is chaotic and exhausting without it. But we can’t get caught getting too comfortable. We need to look for cues that it’s time to adjust. Even better, anticipate them.

So lesson one of this Tuesdays with Rory mini series is -- process is necessary, but don't get too comfortable.